Monday, October 25, 2010

The Mohan Chronicles - The River Day Incident

The crack staff here at For Lack Of A Better Title, used their top secret photo progression software to determine what Mohan would look like here in 2010 and the best they could come up with is something resembling, Mr. Erik Estrada.

River Day at Marist College is a tradition.  Get as drunk as possible in a 3-4 hour span.  If you were 21 yrs old, you could attend this Bacchanalian extravaganza.  Just beer and wine coolers, thankfully no hard alcohol.  Enter Vigo.  He was definitely of age and was going, but like any other Saturday in college, he woke up late.  Marist College officials tried to keep it under control.  It started early in the day (around 1 or 2 PM) and ended early (by 5 PM).  Also, like any other Saturday in college, I was headed over to the townhouse to hangout.  Most of the house was on it's way out or already gone to do their weekend plans.  We'd all reconvene later that evening at some point.  

The only two people in the house were Jim and myself.  We were in the middle of our best 253 game series between the Boston Bruins and New York Rangers in NHL 93 for Sega Genesis.  We didn't exactly "play," we actually got inebriated and had the computer play itself, while we did play by play.  We also wouldn't talk to anyone unless it was between periods, while we were taking our break and smoking cigarettes.

Jim and I had just finished our games for that day.  Since, it was April and warmer, I maneuvered his chair onto the outside porch so we could just take in the sun.  Then it happened...Vigo came lumbering up the back hill towards the townhouses.  We knew he was really drunk, because this is not the way you would normally get to the townhouses, so booze brain was lost.  He also said upon seeing us, "Oh, I live there," pointing at us.  I quickly got Jim in the house, we both knew this was going be interesting.  Hearing us coming into the main house, Mohan suddenly appears from his and Jim's room.  Jim and I looked at each other, wondering when he got home.  He slipped past us during one of the games.  My intoxicated brain tries to sober itself up, by sending off a coherent thought...A very drunk Vigo is about to come home and Mohan is standing right in front of you, what do you think is going to happen?  In my mind I warned Mohan, but that warning never came out of my mouth.

Vigo busts through the main door of the house.  Laughing and talking to whomever he can see.  Jim and I go into distract mode.  How was River Day, I heard you got there late?  Vigo responds with the, "What did you expect?  It starts too early, I had to play catch up, so I'd grab a wine cooler or two and drink those while stood in line for a beer."  The first of many "oh shits" is muttered between Jim and myself.  How much did you drink?  Vigo's response, "I don't know, I did that for like 3 hours straight."  Another, look of panic between the two of us.  Just then, Mohan walks back into the main room.  Vigo smells blood.  "Hey, Mohan come over here I wanna try something."  Jim asks me "what I'm going to do?"  I respond, "nothing, Vigo is 6'3" and about 300 lbs and I'm not."  Jim's response was, "well that makes two of us, I'm in wheelchair here."  

What Vigo wants to try is simple, at least in a drunk person's mind.  I'm going to hold this couch cushion in front Mohan's face, to see if I can punch it hard enough to knock him over.  Brilliant.  Except, as you know when you're drunk, you move slower, plus gravity is involved, so the cushion falls.  Can you see where this is going?  Blam! Vigo let's Mohan have it (fist meets face).  Mohan is laughing, because I think he's scared and rightfully so.  Vigo abandons the punching of the cushion and just starts wailing on him with it instead.  Vigo grows tired of this and I get him to go upstairs to his room.  Where he proceeds to play Chuck Yeager's Flight Simulator on his computer until he makes himself sick and has to crawl to the bathroom.  Then he makes it to his bed where he passes out at 6:30 PM.

I head downstairs to do damage control.  I talk to Jim about Mohan, who quickly fled the scene.  Jim said, "Mohan had fun, but didn't want to play that game again with Vigo."  Tragedy averted, no one is pressing charges. 

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