Friday, December 31, 2010

Nine By Design 16

We've literally come to the end of the year.  In just a few hours, it'll be "Amateur Night."  My advice, go over to a friends house or host some friends and stay in.  I'm not a drinker, but I did work for a band for years, so I've been in and out of clubs most of my life.  I understand wanting to go out, get happy and possibly ring in the new year with a new friend.  Just be careful.  Taxi's, designated drivers and public transportation are all your friends tonight.  I was saying to my wife last night, that public transportation should be free on New Year's Eve.  It just makes sense and it would encourage people to take it.  Logic, who uses it?

Speaking of my wife, the loyal readers will know that she's pregnant and due in the middle of 2011.  We've been tossing names around.  She's fond of "Puke-Inducer" and "Parasite," but this week's list will be rejected baby names.

Rejected Baby Names

Beyonce: I think having that name would put too much pressure on the child to be extremely talented.  "I have to sing, dance and act?  Gee, thanks."

Adolph: I think Mr. Hitler ruined this name forever.  Plus, it would probably make the child power hungry at an early age.  "Fine, I will go to my room Dad, but wait until your shower tomorrow morning.  You'll never forget it."  Bwaahhaa.  We don't need evil laughs at age 4. 

Madonna: If we have a girl, I'll be worried about keeping her "off the pole," as Chris Rock likes to say.  "It's dad's only real job."  I don't want to answer the question, "Who was I named after?"  "You were named after her, sweetie."

Zdeno: We love the hockey player, but we feel it would put too much on the kid to be a 6'9" freak of nature, with a 105 mph slapshot.  Especially, since my wife and I are both kinda short.

Iggy: As much as we love the singer, I named my cat after him.  It's a good name fit for my cat.  He's crazy.  I'd be afraid we'd have to deal with this at some point.  (I love the old guys doing commentary on the video, just hilarious)

Coco Crisp:  Yes, son, we gave you a name that sounded like a breakfast cereal.  That won't be too damaging to your psyche growing up.  The kids won't have much to pick on you.  You'll be fine!  Honey, this joke has gone too far.  You mean it's really on his birth certificate?  Whoops, my bad.

Dick Trickle: It takes, excuse my joke, "balls" to go with this over, Richard.  He was a fan favorite on Sportscenter when Dan Patrick and Keith Olbermann we're still around.  There's only one tougher guy in the world with the name Dick.

Dick Butkus: With a name like this, you have to come out of the womb kicking ass and he probably did.  The man hasn't played in almost 40 yrs and I still wouldn't want to see the guy in a dark alley.

Yngwie: Pronounced Ing-Vey, for those of you not in the know.  I don't know if I want my child to bring back another "neo-classical" era in rock guitar.  Yngwie is very talented, but takes himself too seriously.  Paul Gilbert, does the same stuff (play with teeth, etc.) as a joke.  There's the difference.

There's the list, hope it was fun to read.  Happy New Year and Be Careful.  I only have like 30 readers, so I can't afford to lose any.  Oh, and your family and friends would probably be upset too, but I'd lose a reader.  That's way more important.  Cheers!  Happy Weekend!

1 comment:

  1. Ahh, another year.. not to worry about this ole girl, I quit drinkin and "party'n" 13 years ago when my first grandchild was born!

    Just spending a quiet time at home with the hubby tonight. UNTIL MIDNIGHT....THEN WE BREAK OUT THE FIREWORKS (legal in Tn.) JUST TO IRRITATE OUR BIBLE THUMPIN, 80yr. old neighbor, married to a 24yr. old Russian girl...hmm, who labels me and the whole neighborhood as SATANS ANGELS!!! Stay tuned my dear friend for all the details.

    Good luck with the baby name Mom and Dad!
    P.S. Not to worry about losin this ole lady as a stalker..uh...reader! Now to get off my dead ass and post something on my own blog!