Sunday, January 16, 2011

Pray For Our Heathen Souls

I'm not religious, at least, not on purpose.  There is occasion when I pray, because I don't know what else to do with myself.  Kind of like a last second shot in a basketball game.  Trying to at least send it into overtime, if not win the game.  But like most things in life, well my life at least, I'll throw up a shot that will be a brick or rim out.  Let's face it folks, I'm 5'6" on my best days and played basketball like I wrestled.  Basically, I'm not letting you by me, so I'm taking you down.  I held the record in my church basketball league for fouling out faster than anyone ever had.  I'm not sure if this is a real record.  Who keeps track of records for a 6th grade church league?  I committed 6 fouls in less than three minutes of playing time.  That's about one foul every 25 seconds.  Thank you very much, I knew you'd be impressed.

Let's get back to the point at hand.  Which is...oh right...The Terror Twins are having their 4th birthday party today.  Thankfully, the kids don't have 8,000 friends quite yet.  Viper and Brains will be there, but they'll be plotting a way to get out of there quickly.  It's not the Twins fault per se.  That blame goes to the "Mom," but she's more like a babysitter.  Just doing enough so the kids don't kill one another, not really parenting.  That's a whole series of blogs by itself and I just don't have the energy to get into it.  In fact, my wife won't get out of bed, because she's trying to get as much rest as she possibly can, before dealing with her.  It's past noon as I write this.  She's gotten nearly 12 hours of sleep.

We only have to survive a couple of hours, because the "Babysitter" scheduled the birthday on the day of a Patriots playoff game.  Everyone has already told her that they are leaving, so they can go watch it.  As a friend of mine said, "Why doesn't she just change the time to 1-4, instead of 2-5?"  The answer is, multiple choice.  She doesn't care about sports, so didn't think about it.  2-5, fits in better with her schedule than 1-4, so screw everyone else.  I'm sure there are a couple of others that don't make sense either, but I'm already getting tired.

So who really suffers?  The Twins, correct.  They will act up and misbehave, because there will be family to pay attention to them, since the "Babysitter" doesn't, unless you count yelling.  I truly believe that the kids are good kids, in spite of their situation.  They will be on total emotional overload, because there will be presents, cake and family members.  It's a wicked Catch-22 for them.  They'll get too happy and excited and get yelled at and reprimanded and/or punished.  Act anti-social or shy and get the same, because "I've gone to the trouble of having this party for you and you don't appreciate it."  The latter, might be a little too harsh to put on the "Babysitter," but I wouldn't put it past her.  Not much surprises me in this world of ours, unless we're talking about her actions.

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